I am so tired. When I go to work today this will be my sixth day straight. The part-time prn, Maame has quit because my supervisor was working her 54 hours a week. When I got back from vacation she told that she was going on nine days straight. I care for the boys very much but I need my time away from them and if things don't change soon I am going have to quit to preserve my sanity. I thought that I could make yesterday till I had two crisises going on at once. P was mad he didn't win at Bingo last night which resulted him going into his bitter old man routine which usually sets CU off even if P's comments are nowhere near directed at him. Prevent a fight. Get P to his room to cool off. Note in my head to in about 15 minutes attempt to give him this meds. I know Tina who I'm working with at the moment hasn't had a day off in awhile with working both this job and her job couch position. She's getting as cranky as the kids. She asks me where A is ( A is back on respite because his grandma is in the hospital). He said he was going back to the unit when I was up at the main building with the others. Walk outside to find that he's out with another house playing basketball. Redirect him to go in the unit he goes off in this tantrum about how every one else is out, we don't run him, and he doesn't really live here anymore. Fine I'm not going to drag him all the way to the unit. Let him be and check on him later if he doesn't come in soon. A comes in the door 30 minutes later requests his meds. Then Tina decides that this is the perfect time to tell A he won't be going outside on his own anymore if he comes back for respite. At that A is off in a full on manic episode. Screaming at Tina then yelling because he can't find his cup. Decides to rush down to the basement. I follow to find that he has decided to use the laundry detergent cap as a cup. First thing he tells me is “I washed it out”. I begin to explain how it's not a good idea to drink out of that when one of the huge guys from crisis shows, Reggie. Reggie directs him to the office. Then gets on his cell for one of the giants who works it the locked male unit come. Great, were going to intimidate A into submission. Lucky, it's Drake who is actually one of the muscles with brains around campus. Comes in and sits on the office sofa like he has just come in for a simple chat. Reggie takes Drake's lead and thankfully start talking A down. I sit with them adding comments and clarification as to what A is taking about. After he has cooled of he's direct to his room. After Reggie and Drake leave A calls for me. We talk again about what happened. No I'm not mad. A admits he was being stupid but he just doesn't like this place. A few more things are said then a quick goodnight. Do a room check. Everyone was sent to their rooms during A's episode but it's now bedtime so they can't come out. Open C's door. He's fast asleep, the rare time he's still. S is at his grandparent's now. No need to check on him. Open PM's door. He lifts his head up. Tell him goodnight and sorry for the noise. Being autistic he's very sensitive to noise levels. I'm thankfully he didn't get upset and come out of his room completely naked. Also make a comment on how well he just did. He nods then lays his head back on his pillow. CU is just listening to music in his bed. Just talked to A. P has his headphones on like CU.

Walk back to the office and crash on the sofa. In thirty minutes I can leave. Tina and I are waiting for Debra to come to watch over the boys tonight. Tina keeps talking about leaving now but then starts a load of towels in the basement. Then starts talking to someone on her cell as we both watch the clock. It's now 10pm, Debra should be here any moment. Tina asks if I'm good and I see her to the door. I see Alan driving up to pick me up. I ask Tina to tell him I'll be right there as she walks out the door. She then immediately heads back to the front door tells me to go ahead she'll wait. I say “you sure”. But I don't put up much of an argument as I head to the office for my bag. Walk out. Get in the car. I ask Alan about his day. He's in a good mood things haven't been that stressful for him at work. He asks about me. I say it's “fucked up” as I blink back tears that he can't see cause it's too dark and at the moment he's watching the road. Immediately change the subject back to him. Ask him about one of his projects. I will not cry. Want the evening to at least end well. Walk into the apartment to the smell of veggie chili cooking on the stove. We eat. Watch a little T.V. Go to bed. I start kissing him good night. I hear him say “we should be going to bedroom trouble maker” in the dark. I say you want me to stop as I start kissing him lower. I hear a no through a moan. The evening did end well.